I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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