well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
