I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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