i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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