I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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