ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
