My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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