I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
