Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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