dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Its about making memories worth repressing
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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