Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
