I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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