Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
