Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
