You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
PANTIES FOUND
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