Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
