I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
