i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How external is "for external use only"?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
