Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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