you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
