The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
