Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
