That's intense
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
