Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
