that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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