she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
