why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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