i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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