Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
