Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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