READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
