I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize