I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
