sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
