What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
