I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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