omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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