We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
