You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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