Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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