Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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