goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
