I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dignity is for republicans.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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