why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
