Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
