she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it's like iHOP with fire
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
