shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
