New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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