Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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