until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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